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A Very Good Place to Start…

Posted by on December 10, 2009

Welcome, one and all, to my grand world of delusion!  Here I live the simple life of fame and luxury to which I hope to soon grow accustomed.  Here I’m the hero of every story, the guy who gets the girl, the man every guy wants to be.  In short, I’m a legend in my own mind and I like it that way.  Now if I could just figure out how to leak my mind into the real world…without the obvious mess, of course…

To begin with, I’d like to clear something up:  Yes, I am indeed fully aware of the unfortunate acronym of my chosen handle/web address.  And seeing as how fatherhood is so far removed from my realm of possibility as to be absurd, and quite honestly brings on a hearty case of the cold sweats at the mere thought of the condition, I would take it as a personal kindness if, when referring to this scintillating collection of perfect prose, you could choose something a little less karmically baiting.  Something like “DA Dude” or “DAveD”, frankly anything besides that scary three-letter word for “pater familius”.  I thank you, my karma thanks you and those sweet little potential glints in my eye thank you.  Believe me, they’re better off remaining glints.  I haven’t figured out how to take care of myself yet, for Pete’s sake.  Sweet little animals in store front windows cower in fear as I pass by.  Trust the animals; they know things.

So thanks for stopping by and keep coming back!  I hope I can manage to infuse a little light-hearted diversion into your day.  I’ve been told there’s nothing that makes someone feel better about themselves than to shake their head in awe at the ignorance and inanity of others.  That makes sense to me.  How else do you explain the continued success of such broadcast travesties as “Wife Swap” and “Super Nanny”?  I just can’t figure out how “ignorance and inanity” applies to me…

2 Responses to A Very Good Place to Start…

  1. Gram

    Congratulations, Matt. At last you are published!!! Great stories.

    Merry Christmas

  2. Rosalita

    Two years late, but never too late… congrats dearest!

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